How to Not Attract a Man.

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So my dating life has been bleak for a number of years now, but that is okay. I have had many other distractions going on. I have been on a number of dates, mostly first dates, and it has occurred to me that I may be doing things a little wrong. As I drove away from a yet another fruitless encounter recently, this long list of things women could be doing slightly wrong occurred to me, and personally I found it very funny. No wonder I was making them run! I was breaking all the rules. So here you go, ways to not attract a man:

  1. Cut your hair really short. This can a) confuse them into thinking you bat for the other team; or b) battle him to the barber to get the latest trendy short hair trim. Either way it some how emasculates (I may use this word a few times) Β your suitor.
  2. Let your hair go grey. Fuck it. Go with the a-la natural look. All that time and money and chemical use you save on your head surely could be spent doing other way more fun things right? He may not agree, but quite honestly, 90% of the population would all have a grey mop of hair if hair dyes were never invented.
  3. Talk about your love of board games. Now in my opinion board games have made a revival in a solo computer driven world, and they are just SO MUCH FUN! It really brings out your competitive spirit too. I think guys especially like it when you beat them at games. Any game. Aim to beat them at all the games, and you may just have them running, away from you.
  4. ‘Hey do you like rollerskating?’ Never got a guy in the sack. Well it hasn’t worked for me so far. Rollerskating is however one of the funnest activities out there on the planet. But for some reason it’s just not bringing my sexy back. Mind you some of the saucy young roller-skaters on youtube Β are doing a mighty fine job in improving the image of skating. You go girls. I think you rock! And I love rollerskating. Just maybe don’t mention it on a first date. Or do if you don’t like him. You can always sleep next to your purple suede roller-skates. Yes I own a pair, and yes they are awesome.
  5. Don’t wear make-up. Wear none or as little as possible. Again the natural look is always best. Who can be bothered putting all that bloody cake on your face every day? It must be quite a shock for your manly man to see you for who you really are, a bare faced beauty.
  6. Talk about your extensive travel experience. Just go on and on and on and on about all the amazing trips to Europe, Canada, Alaska blah blah blah and travels and experiences you have had. Most guys really love that. Not.
  7. Talk about all the guys you have slept with. Now that list is long my friends, but you won’t get the details. Surprise surprise? Nothing like a woman who can out do a man on her conquests, that my friend is a modern day woman.
  8. Do not shave your legs. To heck with it, don’t shave anything. Go full hairy babooshka woman.
  9. Express your love for cats. Cats cats cats, if we don’t have one, we want one. Nothing like owning a few hairy felines to scare off any potential hairy chester. Why don’t men like cats? I never understood that one.

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So there you have it, the list could have gone on and on, there have been years of singledom experience to draw on. Overall it is a fair list of excuses and reasons to explain why the men are not lining up at the front door. And if by any chance none of these things sounds off putting to you and you happen to be a single hot male, please do get in touch.

Anita xx

Girls: What do you do that you know could put off any male??

 

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21 thoughts on “How to Not Attract a Man.

  1. Thank you, Anita, for this! I had a good chuckle. And laughing is great.
    I’m at fault with some of these (no make up, travelling, expressing love for my hobbies) πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
    But then again, if I can’t be myself, what’s the point. I’ve come this far (and will go further) to find out who I am, and I kind of really like this person, that I am. I would not want to loose her. And to be honest, so far I haven’t got the wisdom to keep both myself and a man at my side.

    To add to your list: Never smile at strangers, especially men. Show insecurity about whether you want this guy or not, cause why wouldn’t you be sure about him (and maddly in love) from first sight/first talk/first date.

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  2. I absolutely loved reading this and can completely relate.

    I’ve travelled a lot and sometimes it seems like it becomes a bit of a competition when you start telling a guy all your travel stories and if he’s travelled a lot he will try and “one-up” on you or if he hasn’t travelled a lot, he doesn’t really want to talk to you anymore.

    I’ve also found that sometimes I might be “too much” for a lot of guys – i.e. I’m a very boisterous, rough-and-tumble type of girl, the kind who isn’t afraid to get mud all over her knees. I’m also very direct and honest and I think it can be off-putting.

    But at the end of the day as Moonike commented, if I can’t be myself then what’s the point? I like being who I am. πŸ™‚

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  3. Love this post!
    I’ve been told I’m too intimidating because I’ve traveled solo, can drive manual car, have had adventures in Africa, Easter Island, (fill in country) , love subtitled foreign films, managed a business, made more money, etc and therefore don’t “need a man” argh!
    I’m too American for European men and too independent for American men. If only I lost weight, looked differently, blah blah.

    I just laugh at all the “reasons” and judgements. I wrote two fun posts -“Stop asking where is my husband” and “I’m dating the world with my passport” to address my solo status.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Thanks for a wee giggle (I’m currently rather tired and feeling a bit down). I met this guy whilst in Brazil, he asked me out on a date, said he’d meet me outside my hostel. It had been fairly cool in the evenings and so I decided to wear my elephant trousers (stops mosquito bites too) from Thailand, a T-shirt and my jumper. I remember going outside my hostel, he was talking to a friend and he looked a bit shocked to see me wearing that. I later found out that he didn’t like me wearing those trousers outside the house! We were together for 5 weeks, and I had to leave him last week to continue on my journey!

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  5. Oh travelling can get tiring, perhaps give yourself some more relax days to connect with people and feel more grounded. All that moving around can be unsettling. But trousers? Wow, well if he didn’t like you wearing trousers, I dare say he would not be worth it in the long run if he is going to be so silly!!! Where are you travelling now?? xxx

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  6. I know right! πŸ™‚ When there is someone to laugh at your jokes, they are just that little bit funnier! πŸ™‚ I have really taught myself to see the lighter side in life and laugh at my quirks rather than worry about them. Thanks for commenting!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Good for you Suzanne, and a common conundrum for the modern day woman. We do all these things for ourselves now and some men can find it intimidating. I think the right man would love that about us right? Keep on being awesome!! I will check out your articles, thanks for the tip! xx

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  8. Thanks for commenting! And I really loved your blog too. It is hard to please them all, I think the trick is to simply please yourself and the right one will come along when they are meant to! In the mean time, keep enjoying yourself πŸ™‚ xxx

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  9. You’re welcome! Hard not to add something with your enthusiastic writing…..haha! Yes, funny why it so often occurs later on in life that we realize it’s far more fun and beneficial to laugh and accept our particular quirks instead of fussing over them. Life becomes a lot easier even with that small shift in perspective. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Absolutely agree. πŸ™‚ Thanks for saying I have enthusiastic writing! That’s funny! I guess I am very enthusiastic about it all! Its a great little hobby the ole blog! πŸ˜‰ I hope you can enjoy reading some of my other articles too. Have a great day!

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  11. From the posts and comments I have read, it seems many of us who start out blogging don’t really know what to expect and end up having fun with it….and our enthusiasm comes through! Haha! Oh yes, I intend to read more! Thank you, Anita! You, too! πŸ˜€

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  12. Hahaha thank you Anita for this, you inspire me to make a followup blog on the do’s and dont’s of the first few dates with someone. I love that you are open about your sexuality. I think you may like my blog where I chronicle the men that have been in my life. I will expand what I write about now because of you. check out my site if you’d like ❀

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