It has been so long since I have written my blog I even wonder if it still exists! I keep a very busy life and have not been prioritising writing, but I feel like lately I have a few things to write about again. For me the process of writing is very cathartic, it always helps me to pour my thoughts down onto a page, and if anyone else can benefit from my thought patterns then bonus. 

I have three things I want to mainly write about today, my crazy dream, my recent break up and my Mum’s gold jewellery. You know, bit of variety, keep things interesting!

Firstly, my dream. Warning it is quite disturbing. I normally have lovely dreams, I wake refreshed and calm and rejuvenated and happy to have been in magical dream land with unicorns and rainbows and move on. Well, not this time! Bloody hell! Literally! I had very strong vibes that it was a past life recall. It was so realistic and I can remember every detail. So here goes. I am in a train carriage with a few others and it feels like we are being transported to Siberia. We are in northern Europe, I can see out the window, and although there is no snow on the trees, I have the impression that it is a cold landscape, but just not snowing at the time. I am naked, weird detail, but I am not wearing clothes, and nor is anyone else. I wake slumped in a small space and there is a man hanging above me, dripping with blood, he has recently committed suicide. It’s like I was unconscious at the time and wake to this reality, and it is horrible. There is some blood dripping off around him and I very carefully move myself around him and get out of this small space and go into a slightly larger space. There are 2 other people there and we are all in shock, and checking on each other. I feel like I am a man, I am not me in this dream. We are all hungry but somehow alive and we seem to be amazed that we are alive. I wake at this point.  End of dream. I can recount as much detail now as I could the moment I woke up, that is how real the dream felt to me, and makes me feel like it was a past life encounter. It was very disturbing to me see the man above me who had died, it was all pretty full on. Perhaps I was transported to Siberia in a past life? I have always been drawn to these stories and have European ancestry. So that happened. Have you ever had a really disturbing dream like that where it feels really real? Horrifying!

So I made it 4 months with my most recent boyfriend and just yesterday we decided to end things. Many things were beginning to implode over the last 2 weeks. We had a really intense connection and got along very well. However, just as fast as things started, they burnt out just as fast. Such a pity. I learnt a lot though. He was Italian and I was very pleased to eat the most delicious food with him! He was an amazing cook. We took a camping trip down south together which was great, and did loads of shared activities. It is always tough breaking up but better to have had the experience than not at all. I try to live and enjoy every day and I know more than most that relationships just don’t often last. I do my best to keep them going but for one reason or another they don’t work out. It will take some time to heal, but I will get there. 

I have mixed emotions about this next story, please don’t judge me. So my Mum wore these particular gold rings all her life, and perhaps one was passed down from her Mum too. She loved those rings and wore them every day. Towards the end of her life they became too small as her fingers swelled with painful rheumatoid arthritis and she had them cut. I only wear silver and have never worn any of her rings. They have been sitting in a jewellery box ever since she passed away. On occasion I would look at them but for the most part they were left. I decided recently to enquire about selling the gold. I followed through with the process and in the end received a really great sum of money for her rings. I went straight to the bank and deposited a large portion of it into my mortgage and then bought a few nice things for myself that I know my Mum would be happy about. I really honestly believe that stuff should be enjoyed by the person when they alive, but we should not carry the guilt of holding onto the possession of our parents, when we can not use it or enjoy it any longer. I did feel a little guilty selling her rings, but she was a practical woman and I know that she would have been glad I could put the money to better use. So that’s what I did. 

So there are a few stories for you! I have managed to write all this down in the last 30 minutes or so. A strong reminder that it doesn’t take that much time to pursue your hobbies and make time for the things you enjoy doing. I hope you have enjoyed reading from me again! Would love to hear from you in the comments!

I have added a few photos taken from today, I went on a big bike ride around Perth and made some art today too. And I continue to be obsessed with my garden and mosaics!

Much love, Anita  xx