Worrying occupies a lot of time. For people young and old. As Christmas has recently passed it occurred to me one fine morning as I was in the shower, with the inspirational white noise of pouring water, I realised I needed to write about the completely superfluous emotion of worrying.
I also spend a lot of time worrying. But I know someone who worries more than anyone I know. Worrying about stuff that may not happen, but could happen, but chances are it won’t happen…ring any bells? We all know people like that! They take so many pre-emptive measures to avoid risk, but still worry about the possibility of illness, stress, chaos, drama. It is all very stressful indeed. Being around worry makes you feel worried too! It is all very worrying.
I come from a long line of “she’ll be right” type thinkers. Worrying is not really a big part of my make up, and I can tell you why. Worry for the sake of worry is a useless past time. It is all consuming, a time leacher, and a modern day demon. In my opinion Mr Worry can shut the front door and leave my life thanks very much. Scurry back to the big black hole from where he came from!
You see, to avoid worry, we really need to just realise that everything in life happens for a reason. And even if that reason is not known at the present time, it may become known in time to come. How elusive that sounds I am not mistaken, but you know how bad things happen and we get all stressed out? And then down the track it doesn’t really seem all that bad after all? Things are resolved, relationships are mended or they are dissolved. Life goes on. And so must Mr Worry, out the door. Slam it on his face, no questions asked. In fact punch him in the face then slam the door in his face, just to be sure he doesn’t come back. Gosh, where did all this violence come from? I don’t even play video games!
My parents did not really have much time for worry. Nothing was really all that stressful. I realise this for a few reasons I am prepared to describe. Since they are both now ash and lurking spirits, I don’t feel so bad writing about them, they probably like it. Anyhow, my point being, they both did not really like to worry. I learnt from a young age that to avoid worrying, the best way to deal with it, was… a magic pill. No not true, haha! Drink!! Also not entirely true although I think avoidance and head in the sand mentality for some people is the best and only way to deal with things. No, they taught me good principles too.
Be organised. Being organised as much as you can be is one way to avoid worry. Do what you can do, to your best possible ability, and then know you are fully prepared for which ever way things will go. This does not always alleviate all stress, but it can help.
Let go. Let go of things being perfect, right, your way, or the way you think it should be. It is not always the case. Most times in fact things work out a different way, and whether you think it is right or not it works out.
Allow for the unexpected. Unpredictable and unexpected things will happen in life and we just have to deal with them as best as we can. This is called being human. I have noticed that the older I get the more stressful and unexpected life can be. Although this is not fun at all at the time. I realise the best way to deal with it, is know that it too will past. Those icky, miserable stressful panicky moments will all pass.
Recently I experienced a really stressful situation. I won’t delve into details but on a surface level it involved hospitals, sickness, possible surgery, family feuds, arguments, fights, big bad foul language, feelings of rejection, isolation and plenty of tears. Sounds terrible right? And this was all days before Christmas. I was worrying big time. Mr Worry, the fat bastard had me strangled by the neck. I was in such a state I felt paralysed. Frozen by emotion, unable to deal with the situation at hand I really was in a messy miserable spastic spiral. But things got better. Things resolved themselves. As they always do. We smoothed things over before the day of festivity, sick patients returned home and all things in the world seemed right again.
Emotions work in mysterious ways, ask any forsaken husband. I don’t have one of those, but I am a woman, so I am one of the best judges on emotions, and yes, they are very annoying, doom impending, all consuming things. Worry and stress hit the top of that platform.
Taking precautions, being organised and doing everything that you can to avoid stress, pressure and disagreements is the best way to handle worry. So just stop worrying so much. It is so easy to write but sometimes so hard to do. It is very important that we not waste so much of our precious time worrying about useless things. Even worrying about important things is pretty useless too, what good will it do? Get on and do what you can to make the situation, problem, encounter, better and then move forward in your life. The sun will rise again, that is the reality!
How much time do you spend worrying? And what is the biggest thing you worry about?
I imagine money, health and relationships are probably the three biggest things people worry about. Well go and earn as much money as you can, and stop buying stuff you don’t need! Keep as healthy as you can and avoid overindulging in all extremes in life. As for relationships, I am no expert, and recently it seems my interpersonal skills reached an all time low. However, I think it is best to be happy, try and make the people around you feel good and avoid arguments. Relationships can be so complex at times, just remember, we basically can not please everyone, so just do what you do and do it to the best of your ability.
And just remember when Mr Worry comes knocking again, slap him in the bum and kindly kick him out the door, he is not welcome to this party!
Why do you worry? What good will it do?
6 thoughts on “Why Worry?”
I’m a big worrier. I always say I know worrying won’t help and I know I shouldn’t worry, but it doesn’t change the fact that in the moment I worry. I think I worry precisely because I know there’s nothing I can do that will help. So worrying seems like the only option. Definitely need to explore worry further.
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This article is great! I have a job interview on Monday which I’ve been worrying about all week. After reading this I realise I’ve done all I can to prepare and what will be will be, so I’m trying to not stress about it as much. Thank you, this is just what I needed to read.
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Yes it is so such a compulsive exercise. I try not to worry so much too but it is really quite hard to stop it right?
So glad my tips have helped! Good luck with your job interview. Get plenty of rest over the weekend so you are fresh and ready! 🙂 What job are you going for?
Your advice is very sound. I have certainly found those things to be true in my experience of anxiety. I am a big worrier. I actually think I was hard-wired for stress from childhood and now I don’t know how to function without some degree of stress. I also tend to be a realist with pessimistic tendencies so I plan, have a back-up plan for if that plan goes pear-shaped, and sometimes even a back-up plan for the back-up plan. I never plan and just assume everything will be fine. I mostly keep my worry in check, therefore, through planning and researching and focusing on the things that really matter rather than the small stuff but I definitely still experience a lot of worry.
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A plan to plan for the plan 🙂 sounds like good advice! I feel overwhelmed by choice at times and planning and commiting and taking action are usually the best ways to deal with it. Argh worry, we all dislike it you, but we all still do it! Thanks for your comment xx
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