I haven’t written for ages on my blog, and my mind is imploding with too many words. Literally. I need to write, it is just part of who I am, and I feel like I am churning through the same bullshit in my brain every day, and its making me crazy. So what I know I need to do is write a blog entry. That always helps.

A lot has been going, I have been busy. It’s that silly time of year where you book 3 things in every night and think going out 5 nights a week is a great idea, until you realise you are completely overcommitted, exhausted and just need a night in on the couch to vegetate, and numb out to Netflix. I am so tired in the evenings lately I can’t even talk on the phone, and if I can’t talk, you know I am tired. That is like THE sign. Because normally I can talk even when I am asleep. I know I have been over doing it lately, and when my energy depletes to zilch, I know I have to call it. So I am calling it. Time to rest. And write.

When I mean rest, I mean have a 3 minute break, then clean the house from top to bottom, start and complete a creative project, write a letter, prepare dinner, clean up, write a to do list, and then…probably a million other things. You get my point. I find it hard to rest. But when I finally successfully sit still for a period of time, now that is good, blissful even. And shut the hell up for a bit, that’s pretty good too.

So I have been writing a lot still, just not for my blog. I have been doing more drawing and illustrating which has been really fun. Daily creative activity has been a priority for me, and I have loved making new things. I am so into colour and have made some really great new alcohol ink paintings. I have also done some drawing, and made some creative stained glass windows using coloured cellophane. I love making those, perhaps they remind me of my childhood? They are so simple and effective and I love the coloured pink hues of light coming into my house with the late afternoon sun.

I know I have to get more focus. Focus is a hard thing in my mind. I just get so distracted! I know when I put my mind to things I can hyper focus. Brilliant, I love it when that happens. I call that my FLOW moments. Love being in flow. It is the best feeling. I have also read a book called ‘Ikigai’ recently which is a word to describe pursuing your passions and doing something every day that interests you. Basically flow activities. We all have things like this that we love to do, and it really is just about making time in your day to do them. Like the watercolour paintings above, I did these recently, and they are for sure a flow activity.

Doubt. Bad word doubt. So self-defeating. Doubting yourself is the worst thing we can do in life and I think we can all suffer from this at times. Recently a friend of mine who in my opinion is very successful and talented, expressed her doubt about her abilities. I was so surprised. I get it, because I also suffer from this bullshit feeling of doubt, but I am writing this to tell you, go beyond the doubt. Do not believe that bad arse guy. Believe in yourself and make it, do it, say it, just do it anyway. Feel the doubt and tell it to f*** off. I know that was harsh, but really doubt has no place in your mind. Unless you are thinking about harming yourself, then doubt is useful. But mostly it rears its ugly head when you have an amazing and inspired idea and you go ‘nah, I couldn’t do that’ ‘nah, it won’t work’, ‘nah, yeah but nah’. You know what I mean? That bullshit talk. Kick doubt to the curb, and don’t give it any head space.

Summer holidays are coming now, and all teachers are breathing a collective sigh of relief. It is time to relax, unwind and de-stress and chill out and enjoy the heat, the beach, and long hot salty days. I have made my travel plans already which I am proud about, because I deliberated about it for ages. I am heading to Dunsborough for a week then to Sydney for a week and then to Adelaide for a week. It will be great. In between all that I will be relaxing and enjoying beautiful Perth. We have the best coastline here, and I love spending my time at the beach. As you can see from my many beach photos all over Instagram. It has been particularly clear and aquamarine and magical. I entertain the idea of moving away from Perth quite often, but honestly I would find it hard to leave my very beautiful city.

As for the dating life, I gave up on all that baloney. I literally deleted all the apps and have accepted my singleness as independently awesome. I like my own company and meeting the right person should not be such a battle. So I will float along and do my thing, and if the right person comes along great, if not, bah-leze. How do you even spell that? I have never written it before! Barleeze? Not bar sleeze, which ironically is what I mostly had to deal with…but that word kids say when you are playing a game and you shout it a lot. Kids! My brain! Its so fried. Like a fish and chip shop barramundi. Fried!

OK. Please say hi. I miss not interacting with my blog readers. I even wonder who reads my blog? Does any one read it? I like to write it I know that much, and for me it is a bonus if you enjoy it. So there you go… a little update from me!

There is so much more to update you on… my birthday; which was a blast! And my top things I did list for the year. I will be sure to pump those words out asap and get back to you. In the meanwhile, I hope you find some time for YOU, to take a reprieve from the madness that this Xmas period can be. Remember ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff, because it is all small stuff!’

Anita xx