Well that was an original title wasn’t it? Haha. May is a good time of year but, slightly tricky for me emotionally. I seem to get a little bit dicky as soon as May rolls around. May 19 spells another year since my Mum died, this year it will be 4 years. Unbelievable. It has gone so fast but so slow all at the same time.
Spontaneously her diary came to my mind, and I decided to have another flick through it the other night as I was watching tele, to read her final entries and see her lovely hand writing. I came across a passage I had missed previously, and it was just so special to stumble across it. I can not believe I did not see it before. In a nutshell she wrote “Do all the things you really want to do in your life” and another meaningful line “Fall in love with a man who really loves you”. Ohh. It revved me up again to make sure I pursue my sense of passion and purpose. To do the things I have always wanted to do. Such an expansive list to draw from. But are we all really doing with our lives if we are not pursuing the things we really want? So much bullshit, distraction, should’s/could’s, pressures, money interferences, excuses really. As my house mate tells me ‘stop being so lazy’ and make it happen. She is forever on my case. But she is right, and I know it.
May is a great time of year in Perth, when flowers are blooming in my garden, and the sun is still shining every day, although the temperatures are dropping overnight to warrant the daggy slippy use, the occasional hot water bottle, and a consistent nightly Nanna/comfort blanky. I love my blanky. I know, what a baby.
My camellias have recently bloomed making me very happy, as I have been waiting very impatiently for them to DO SOMETHING! Now I know they are very slow growers. My bougainvillea has bloomed finally adding a touch more red colour to the garden, contrasting the deep blue fence just nicely. Birds are visiting daily, mostly little yellow winged honey eaters, and small black willy wag tails. Screeching green 28’s bullet through the sky above, and the occasional flock of black cockatoos soar high, squawking loudly, alerting all of their presence. I love looking out for bird life as I sit in my deck chair in the garden, there really is a lot going on in nature if you keep an eye out for it.
Spending time in my garden really brings me so much joy. I am sure I have written this line 10 times before. But it is so true. In my heart I know I would love to build a bigger garden, and have some animals to look after too, especially chickens. It’s a great way to get eggs, and feed them your scraps from cooking! And I know they would bring me lots of joy. My dream would be to have a country property, plant all the trees and flowers I love, and have all the animals I want to. And ideally have a partner who can help me fund this big beautiful dream, and have someone to share it with. It is good to dream, dreams are free!
My Dad taught me to dream, and dream as big as possible. He used to say that if you can dream it, you can do it. He was a big dreamer! But he certainly proved that dreams can come true, and I saw many of his ideas manifest into reality. It is the combination of setting your mind to something and then taking action to make it happen. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway, overcoming your obstacles and sticking to your guns. Being relentless. Being determined. Giving yourself quiet time to process and think and work it all out.
A friend said to me this morning, that he never has any free time. Like none. He also has a new baby, so that pretty much explains it. Sometimes I have so much free time I walk in circles and have to think up things to do to occupy my time. Seriously. I know I am actually very lucky to have so much free time, to relax, think, process, read, exercise, cook, shop, walk, go to the beach, really the choices are endless.
I am reading a good book right now about a girl who starts writing letters with a guy in Africa. She is a very privileged American girl, and slowly through the course of their letter writing she learns the stark difference between their lives. She ends up helping him pay to go to school, because in Africa you have to pay to go to school. And it is expensive. If you are poor you can not afford to go to school, and the cycle repeats. It made me also realise how privileged we are to live in Australia and how much of everything we have. Incredible really. We don’t think or appreciate this enough. It also triggered an idea that I would love to write letters with a few people. Perhaps 3 people, in foreign countries, of any age, who have the time to correspond with a hand written letter. Perhaps someone who has been reading my blog for awhile? I would love that. Are you interested?
I also just finished reading another great book by Stephanie Meyer called ‘The Chemist’. It was brilliant! It was super fat and big, 500 plus pages, and I smashed it out in less than 5 days! It was that good! Very compelling, and I was so happy there was so much to get through, I was savouring it. And then you know that elated feeling you get when you finish a good book? Like a good book afterglow? Where you just want the good book-ness feeling to go on forever? Clearly I need more in my life, but I do stick to this theory, I have always loved a good book. And I just do not have time for a crap book. If I don’t make it past a few pages and think, YES, then I just go Nahhhh and close it up. No time for a crap book, life is too short for that kind of tragedy.
Okay, well I think that is quite enough for one blog entry! Now, who wants to be my pen pal??? Or let me re-word it from this naff old school term… who would like a hand written letter and would have the energy to write me one back? I am looking for 3 people! Please comment below and tell me why you want to write with me.
Oh… and one more thing! I am going back to the BUSH!! I just accepted another 3 week contract, so stay tuned for more bush stories to come. Adventure awaits!
The crazy one, Anita xx