I feel a bit off today. Headache, blurry mind, not clear in thinking, generally just a bit crappy. I have been feeling so good lately that I am surprised by this murky crappiness.

This might cheer me up:

There is a storm outside, so maybe it is some atmospheric pressure? I also didn’t have any coffee this morning, so perhaps I am having withdrawals? I am drinking an awful lot  of coffee lately, with 2 sugars per cup. At least 4 to 6 a day. That is a lot right? My skin is breaking out with blotchy red spots, I guess it is from all that sugar. Anxiety? Through the roof. All shakey. Hands, nervous system shot to shit. Mmm. Not good. But who cares? No one wants to hear about bad health. But for some reason I needed to write that down. We need to realise when things need fixing sometimes.

Friday I had the biggest lunch fail ever. I was bringing my lunch down from the kitchen to the table, where I sit every day for lunch. I had heated up some rice, boring I know, but I don’t mind plain food. It was all buttery, and yummy and fluffy and ready to eat. I was planning to add a tin of tuna to it (I know how exciting). Lucky I didn’t! I also had a cup of hot tea, no milk, fortunately, I hate milk. So as I went to sit down, I somehow fumbled and spilt my rice all on the floor! And then to make matters worse, I also dropped my tea all over every single  inedible grain of rice, mushed in a horrid pile on the gross disgusting dirty school carpet.  I could not believe it! In seconds I had completely ruined my lunch and spilt it everywhere!! And sadly, not one grain of rice could be salvaged.

Fortunately I did have something else to eat. The tin of tuna, sans fluffy yummy rice. But more than anything I was really surprised that I had fumbled so badly. I had never done this before. What the hell was wrong with me?

I have found myself dropping things a lot lately. Over the weekend I was lacquering my dining table, as you do. I like to be pretty handy around my place. After applying a good coat to the dining table, I decided to have a go at sanding back the smaller outdoor table and giving that a spruce up too. So the job was done, and ready for painting. As I was painting the table, boom, I knocked over the jar of stinky lacquer and spilt it all over my outdoor rug!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Annoyingly, I then had less paint for the main job, and now need to go buy another jar so I can put the third and maybe fourth coat on the dining table. Bugger! And you know what happens when I go to Bunnings? I was banning myself from there this ‘Spend less August’, as I always walk away with $100 worth of stuff! ARGH!

So I don’t know why I have been overly clumsy lately. Weird. Distracted? Trying to do too much? I don’t know, but whatever it is, it is annoying!

I feel better already. Kind of not really. Urgh.

Writing down your worries does really help. I come from a long line of non-complainers. So it is built in not to whinge. But sometimes a good whinge is just what the doctor ordered.

What’s wrong with you?

Anita xx