Part Time Lover

Stevie Wonder was spot on with this song, and it rings in my mind when I think about my situation. Relationships. WHY ARE THEY SO COMPLICATED? I have to admit, I am shite at relationships. My whole life I have never been with anyone longer than a year. Now that is a shit stat right? Well there are benefits. Part time lovers are one.


‘Is this your husband?’ No, he is my Thursday night guy. Which became Friday night guy just this week, so maybe I have moved up a place? Anyway, it’s complicated. But no, he is not my husband and he never will be. This is the conversation I had with the sales girl recently. I was on a rare outing to the shops with a guy I literally JUST hook up with. It has been on and off for the last 7 years. Mostly off, and mostly when it is on, it is only on  in the bedroom. He is actually a total pain in the arse and spending together is tedious, for the both of us. Why do you ask do I continue? I really do not know. I am like a fly caught in a venus fly trap. Urgh.

I was hoping writing it down would help. Perhaps you can give me some advice?


So here are some super weird/annoying/irritating things that he does:

  1. Insists on everything being IN THE RIGHT PLACE. He is OCD and everything needs to be put back exactly where it was. God forbid you move anything. And did you use that tea bag? Because you should use it twice, or it’s a waste. I know, it’s weird.
  2. He gets super grumpy about nothing. Annoying. Grumpy people are just annoying.
  3. He goes on and on and on and on about boring health ailments. I fucking hate it when people complain about their health. My Mother literally died of cancer and did not complain once. I kid you not. So I have a really low tolerance for whingers. He has a bad shoulder, and sleep apnea, and a long list of other boring crap that I generally don’t pay any attention to listening to. Yawn.
  4. He never wants to do anything, other than the obvious. BORING.
  5. He often wants me to pay for him. Which I don’t. I used to, but not anymore. And then he would brag about making $800 a day, so money bags can surely pay for a cheap meal. (Never do we eat anything expensive!)
  6. He occasionally drops lines like ‘we should have a baby’. I am like ‘I don’t think so buddy. You can’t even pay for my dinner, why the hell would we have a baby together?’ He is nearing mid forties so perhaps I could be his last chance. Nope, not going to happen. It would be so complicated and irritating and the worst environment to raise a child. No chance in hell would it happen.
  7. His house is full of stuff. He literally has a new TV in front of an old TV. He permanently has 3 cooking pots on the stove, that he never uses, they are there for decoration, apparently. To me it is incredibly cluttered and jam packed full of stuff. Energetically there is no space for anything or anyone in his house.
  8. He never calls. Always messages. And with the most irritating line of ‘When are you free?’ Not, would you like to go see a movie Tuesday night at 7pm? Or want to play some tennis on Wednesday? Or how about do you want to go for a bike ride Saturday? Nope. No such suggestions. Not even any idle chit chat. Just ‘When are you free’? IRRITATING.
  9. OK there is one more thing which is actually very funny. Just as I was leaving the other day, he pulled down his pants in front of me, to tuck his shirt into his pants, but just happened to flash EVERYTHING at me. We are comfortable being naked in front of each other, so ultimately nudity does not bother me at all. But it is weird right? To flash cock and balls just before you leave? Talk about peaCOCKING.

I think I have bagged him out enough. You get my drift though right?


What is good about him:

  1. Surprisingly, even though he is complete jerk, he is a good lover.
  2. He is clean and tidy and has great personal hygiene.
  3. That’s it. I can’t think of anything else. LOL. Oh there is one thing…
  4. He did give me some fresh herbs from his garden the other day, that was nice.

SO that is where I am at. A completely emotionally unfulfilling situation. I know it is entirely up to me to do something about it. I just don’t know how it got to this. Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Abstract Photography by Jessica Kenyon, Founder of Jessica Kenyon Studio
This is the magic stuff that makes relationships. Apparently…

How do people find the right people?? How does it even happen? I do think it is bit of good luck, chance and timing. And some miracle magic potion that comes out of nowhere. Who the heck knows what the secret is but I most certainly am not in on this mystery.

Lucky I am good at other things. Like gardening, and decorating my house.


Any tips for me?

Anita xx

P.S. I didn’t even make this up.

P.P.S. I am pretty sure he won’t even read this. Fingers crossed he doesn’t right?


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