It has been a three magnums kind of week. A good friend of mine suggested, the best way to curb over indulgence, rather than buy a bucket of ice cream just buy a box of magnums. Well I proved him wrong on that idea! But oh they were so delicious, all bloody three of them!
Teaching work is starting to die off a little as the year draws to a close. Annoying, because I am still super motivated to work. But alas, this is the nature of my job, I am at the mercy of my co-ordinator, and I hate that. I hate not being in control. Hate. But, what to do? I am stuck between a rock and hard place. So I ate a magnum. That helped.
Life feels slightly monotonous at the moment. I have been reluctant to spend any time on my blog of late, I go through these neglectful phases. I think what is the point of that darn blog? Who even reads it? Well the thing is, I never really do know how far reaching one little post can go, and that is exciting. I have friends flung in all corners of the globe, and more would be great. More friends are always good. I love it when people comment on my blog, it makes me feel valued, like people care. Do you care? Does anyone care?
The thing is, all good passionate writers will tell you, it’s not about who reads it, it is more about the act of writing it. It is the purging of ideas, the flow of words, the ooze of metaphors. Writing is addictive, it is like a drug you don’t want to stop using. Once you know, how rewarding it can be. I don’t even know what I am going to write about most of the time, ideas, and words and expletives just spill forth and magically appear before my eyes. Like a good stream of consciousness. Like a little man/lady is sitting in my head saying ‘now say this, then this, or this, okay this’. Simples. It really feels like that, someone is literally whispering in my ear and telling me what I should write. It is all quite magical really.
I am beginning to de-clutter more of my possessions. I have been feeling a bit stuck lately. Tight, rigid, cement in my boots type energy, and that is annoying. I despise that kind of resistance, and the best way I know of to clear out that negative energy, is to have a good clear out. Literally throw that shit away and you feel better for it. I am very aware of feng shui too, so I try to create balance and harmony in my home as much as possible. Most of that is intuitive I think. And minimalism, I am all about that! I just have to practise it more!
I went through cupboards like a woman possessed, and chucked hurled and threw all that unwanted STUFF out! I then put it all into the recycling bins at my local shops to give to others in need. I can not bare the thought of it going in the bin bin. But sometimes stuff just needs to be thrown away. Simples.
I tackled my photo albums like a champion. I told myself, pick out only 5 of the best in each album and be ruthless, then ditch those big bulky photo albums. I have been lugging them around for years. All those memories are stored up in my head anyway. No one looks at them.
Gardening has been occupying a lot of my time too of late. This morning I ripped out all the straggly looking poppies that were starting to look very untidy. The soil quality in my yard is awful, dry and sandy and very challenging to improve in quality. I apply manure, Seasol, all sorts of fertilisers as much as things can handle, and STILL, it remains to be sandy and shit. So annoying. How can anything grow in that sandpit? My new idea is to dig random holes around the place and dump in my fruits and veg scraps, ideally generating a calling for some plump worms to work their magic and spill forth their soil nourishing excretement. So far so good.
When I am not working I am spending a bit of time panicking. I start to worry about money and not having enough to pay for my mortgage and all the associated bills. Not productive I know. I then try and pummel this negative energy into proactive movement to look for more work, at other schools, or doing something else I may find enjoyable. One has to keep trying. And then if all else fails, eat a magnum.
I have also been doing some watercolour painting. I love colour and try to paint with as much colour as possible. I really enjoy painting, it is a flow activity for me and I find it really calms me down.
I have some overseas visitors coming soon! A good mate coming from the UK, and we will travel down to Albany and Denmark for a weekend away. I am looking forward to spending time together, and playing some fun games again. We are champion Rumi-Kub players. We love it. We binge it out for hours at a time. So I dare say my next blog I will write about that… and include some nice pics of down south. It is truly beautiful down there at this time of year. You will see.
Hope all is well in your life. Hope you are getting some sunshine, lots of hugs, taking walks in nature and being grateful for the little things. And hey, when was the last time you had a magnum? They really are delicious!