Lately I have noticed I am obsessed with eating certain foods from my past. Food can trigger memories, through taste, smell and sheer joy of eating.

As I prepared some sauerkraut tonight on the stove, I thought fondly of my Dad. As I nibbled on a dill gherkin and prepared my meal, I thought to myself; this could be my Dad standing here. This is just the kind of food he liked to eat, and what he would serve me for dinner. Hence now it is what I like to eat.

I fried up the bacon and added the cabbage, wafting with a pungent vinegary smell. I sprinkled on the caraway seeds just to give it that extra certain flavour. These are the traditions of my Latvian ancestors. Even my Grandma used to make sauerkraut, I can only assume however. Sadly I never had the privilege of sampling her food, or even meeting her kind and loving self. She passed away at a premature age of 50. I wasn’t even a thought in the universe at the time!

Usually I would pair such a typical Latvian meal with a good old fashioned kransky sausage. This I would normally boil, or sometimes fry and make 3 even slits on the top. Both my Mum and Dad would do this, and of course, I also have to do it too.

I use the knife that my Mum used to use. It’s trusty and old and sturdy and reliable. Many times it has been sharpened with a grinding stone, again a popular activity undertaken by both my parents. They were equally obsessed with sharp knives. It was only when they had died that I found myself needing to sharpen the knives, for the first time. When I did get around to this simple but deeply traditional habit, it brought a tear to my eye. But wow were those knives sharp! So much better! They really were onto something!

So many of the things we do in life have been taught to us by our parents. The food choices we make and our habits often come from learned or repeat behaviour. For me, it enables another way to connect. I do as they did, eat as they did, and remember through these strange little habits.

I continue to think about my parents on a daily basis, and not a day goes by when I do not talk of them fondly. I am squarely stuck in the past in many ways, and for now am happy to have one foot in the past, to remember them, to feel them beside me, now more as a thin ephemeral memory.

This week a kind friend I made online messaged me with the kindest words about the afterlife. Reminding me that we will indeed see our loved ones again. How could we not? How could we have this strong connected soul bond and not see each other again? It would seem impossible, preposterous, and frankly inconceivable (aka Princess Bride). What would be the point of life even? There must be something more.

I continue to ask questions to the universe, I ponder my reality and wonder what move I should or could make next. Anything is possible. I am beginning to build strength and energy again and feel like I want to make changes once again. Next year 2017 numerologically is a one year. A new beginning. The start of a new cycle. This is exciting for me as I am constantly seeking reinvention. Any whisper or representation of reinvigoration or new or a beginning, is exciting to me. I do not know why, I just like the chance of starting again. Reinventing myself and gaining new perspectives, meeting new people and have good experiences is what motivates me and keeps me happy. I will see what the future brings.

Can you relate to this feeling of wanting to eat foods for the memory recall? What exciting news can you share with me? How did you go with the manifesting ideas from ‘Manifesting real or magic‘ a few posts ago? I would love to hear from you!

Anita xx