For Fear of Mediocrity.

I have this fear, somewhat irrational, that I do not want to live a dull life. So far my life has been far from dull, so there is very little chance of this happening. However, I feel the need to keep pushing pushing pushing into new possibilities, new adventures and new experiences. I have always been like this. When I reflect back I have been on the move since I was 18, in one way or another. I find it hard to settle down for too long. I am not sure why. I just know there are so many other amazing places to see and enjoy. I wont die wondering that is for sure!

Artwork by Sally Clarke.

I am currently in a pretty good place in terms of feeling grounded. I have been home for 6 months now, back in Perth. I have done heaps of gardening and modified my bathroom to install a bath, and generally have the house looking as I wish. However there are always more things to do, it really is never ending. I would ideally like to repaint all the walls and freshen the place up, and keep going on more mosaics on my back garden paths. I have maxed out all garden space in my back garden, and in winter will need to really give my growing trees a good cut back. They have shot up excessively over the last few years. I look forward to flower blossom season which will be around August/September. 

I wish I could just say I am happy to stay living in Perth. But internally, I am not. I want to be able to get a pet and settle, but the niggle to move and go again gnaws at me like a rat on a passionfruit vine. Incessant, persistent, and clever. I apply for jobs outside of Perth, and even sometimes I spy jobs overseas that look interesting to me. The truth is, I have full flexibility and the opportunity to go and do whatever I feel like doing. I have limited ties. In fact none really. I have good friends in Perth, but they know me as a free spirit and have accepted my here now but gone again personality. Do you have this experience in life? Do you keep exploring other options and try to live an adventurous and interesting life? If you could do anything and live anywhere, what would you do? 

Self care has become a very important part of my life in the last 6 months or so. I have made time for me, to slow down, to enjoy the now moment, and to feel really grateful for all that I do have around me. I have a beautiful home and a lush garden I really love spending time in. If I left Perth again I would really miss my garden. How crazy is that? I know I can plant a garden wherever I go that is for sure! I love to watch the change in seasons in my garden, I notice subtle changes on a daily basis. I am quite observant of all my flowers and their stages of growth, how much my trees are growing and ofcourse, watering. The white noise of the spray, the glistening of leaves, the freshness, I love the post watering glow. 

Identifying your own self care practises are really important, well I think so anyway. We can easily neglect ourselves, and some people just do not make any time for their own health and wellbeing. There was one stage where I struggled to think of even a few ways that I could look after myself better. Now I have a list of 20 things! Like: baths, gardening, creating art, exercising, eating healthy and reading. It is a personal thing, what are your top 3 self care activities?

I have been busy creating some new art pieces lately. I will include some here for you. I draw inspiration from so many places, often an idea will just percolate in my mind and will come alive as I bring it to the paper. For a number of years I practised a daily art routine, and surprised myself with the ability to come up with something new every day. I do think it is good to keep flexing that creative muscle, you do get better at thinking more creatively by being creative more frequently. Sounds obvious, but it is true! I love seeing new illustrations, gardens and art ideas in magazines such as Breathe and Frankie magazine, or online platforms Instagram or Pinterest. Inspiration really is everywhere, you just have to open your mind to it. Remember that repetitive song “Open your mind?” I used to love that song! Trippy and wild and fun. How life should be! 

Ultimately finding contentment is the all time illusive goal we are all striving for right? But are we ever content? It is like we are hard wired to always want for me, in one way or another. Life is a forever moving platform, even when it appears nothing is changing, only a few months can pass then everything has changed. I guess it is finding the balance of feeling grateful in the present moment and striving for improvement and satisfaction. I can’t get no, satisfaction!!! 

Hope this finds you well and happy. I look forward to your perspective on mediocrity. What are your top self care routines? And if you could live anywhere and do anything what would you do?

I look forward to your response! 

Anita 🙂 

9 thoughts on “For Fear of Mediocrity.

  1. Hi Anita
    It’s been a while since I wrote to you
    This pandemic period has really done a number on me. All is well now. I have a 7 month old granddaughter and I’m spending time with her
    It’s awesome
    I can’t wait to see where you go next
    Take care of yourself and be careful
    Our world situation is frightening as to what will happen next
    I pray

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks Gail. I hope you are ok. Try not to stress too much. Beautiful you have a new grand daughter! Take care and thanks for stopping by! X


  3. Hey Lovely
    I think we may be related lol….All my life I have dreamed of travelling the world and never settling in once place as there is just too much of this world to explore. But as fate would have it I had my first son at 16yrs old and that put life on hold for me for quite some time. I have moved around alot though and have lived in Tassie which I loved and hope to go back to one day in the future but my ultimate dream is to move to France and buy a little chateau and do it up all while growing my own veg and immersing myself in French Life.
    So yes, I completely understand what you mean about missing your garden but wanting to go at the same time. For me, I blame it on the gypsy and American Red Indian blood that’s in my veins….and that’s why I always have itchy feet. Gorgeous garden by the way and on the upside, we’re moving to Perth!!
    Michelle x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I relate to this so much; I’ve never felt the desire to settle down in one place, although all my friends are slowly marrying, buying houses, setting down permanent roots in one country. It’s so reassuring to see how fruitfully and vibrantly you’re living your life, and I hope to follow your unconventional life path while I’m still young (and for the rest of my life)!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ohh thanks so much! It certainly is unconventional, and the more of the beaten path the better I say! It is great to push out of your comfort zone and try new things in life. Finding your flow zones are key too! 🙂 Thanks for commenting! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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