Many people are petrified by the idea of going out by themselves. I am here to reassure you it is totally okay! My Mum is part inspiration for this post, she used to go out by herself quite a bit in her hey day. She would always have a good time and come home with many stories to share with her girlfriends over java (her home made cappuccino, she would even whip up the milk all frothy and sprinkle on powdery chocolate goodness; she was a pro at home made coffee). On my night out, I collected my own stories, and met some new people who I hope to see again. That is the beauty of going out alone, you just never know who you might meet!
It was Friday night, I had made it through my first week, okay 3 days at work, but still that was quite the achievement after 6 weeks off from travelling Europe. All my friends were busy, quite seriously…everyone is either pregnant, trying to get pregnant, had other plans, in training, or just couldn’t face the bitterly cold – no central heating it’s like Antartica in winter time – night in Perth.
Not this brown duck. I wanted to go out! I wanted to listen to music, mingle with a crowd, chat to strangers, dance to crazy 80’s and 90’s songs, and I had a wild craving for good Japanese food. So I put my big girl pants on, well, actually rummaged through the knicker draw for something with at least a bit of lace on them; and spruced myself up for a night on the town!
I made my way in an Uber to the city, having already enjoyed some pre’s (slang for pre drinks my overseas people) with some friends after work. My driver was from Iran, very hip in his ripped jeans, very pleasant and friendly and up for a chat; my kind of driver. We bantered quickly and easily, he complimenting me on my well applied make-up, apparently most Perth girls have no idea about make-up. I thought it odd he noticed these fine details, but hey, whatever, thanks for noticing! Iranian women are like beauty queens, ‘they could all run their own beauty salon’, and I must say I agree. Iranian women are gorgeous, just ask my best male friend who dated said super model qualities a few years ago. Anyhow… this conversation gets better.
So we skip the nonsense and start talking about sex. I don’t even know how we made this quick but delicate connection, but OMG sooo interesting! Apparently, according to my Iranian man in many Middle eastern countries it is VERY common, and very acceptable for young men aged 12 to 14 to have sex with other boys their same age to lose their virginity! Now that was interesting. It didn’t mean they were gay, no, quite the contrary. It was the stepping stone to having sex with girls. Start with boys, move onto girls, go back to boys if you want, then have multiple wives and just fuck every body. Well I added that in but it does remind me of that song ‘boys who do girls who do girls who do boys’ or something like that. Incredible what you learn from a random Uber driver. Love it. My night was already kicking off. I was loving it!
To be fair, the sexes are ostracised from each other so much during the teenage years in many of the Middle eastern countries that the only way to have a connection and try out sex so to speak, is to experiment with the same sex. Makes sense I guess. But why is homosexuality radically vilified in middle eastern countries if it is so readily practised in youth? So confusing. But so interesting.
So I was already writing my blog in my head as my Uber zoomed along riverside drive, a massive near full moon rising above the millstream pond of the Swan River. I was excited, I was making the most of my life, I was pushing out of my comfort zone and being independent, strong and capable. I am so glad I gave up the heater and my blanky for a night out. YAS! ( I meant to make that an a, it just sounds better like that, more german, more authoritative, more jubilant, lol.)
I made my way for Japanese, and was so happy to eat some teriyaki tofu, freshly prepared sushi, some yakitori chicken, all finely prepared and delivered by cheerful waitresses. With a satisfied and well lined belly, I was ready to hear some music. I made my to a funky saloon bar named Alabama Song and perched myself on a bar stool. Nursing a pint of cider, I engaged in conversation virtually immediately with a guy to my left. He was a professional wrestler, so cool. He travelled the world and was paid to wrestle like a crazy person, and he loved it. He spent time in Japan, USA and all over Australia. This mohawked well built man was easy to talk to and inspiring. He was living his dream, and maybe not making a total killing in the bank, he was happy and doing what he loved. Good on you wrestle man, very inspiring!
The next man who engaged me was a really nice Asian guy from Hong Kong. He was very polite and easy to talk to and I was happy to chat to him too. I rarely meet Asian men or women out, purely because I think they are more shy and not so used to meeting strangers perhaps? But my new friend definitely shattered stereotypes and we found many cool things to talk about. Hopefully we will be going to see a basketball game together in the future. Boom. Love meeting strangers.
Next I chatted to some other guy, who apparently was adopted, but looked remarkably Greek. We talked about my trip to Greece and I tried to convince him to go there one day to explore his potential heritage. His boozed up girlfriend/wife wasn’t too happy with me after about 15 minutes of our engaged and thoughtful conversation and she soon muddled her way in between us and they were gone not much longer. He told me he had been single for years and perhaps had only recently found long term love and commitment. Perhaps he was whimsical of his old days after chatting to me? Who knows. I just like to chat. I wished him well and he was gone.
My drink now empty after all this stimulating conversation I made my way across the road to another classic establishment, the Universal Bar. The band was belting out their usual boppy tunes, and I soon found myself nestled in amongst the varied crowd. Not too long I made eye contact with a friendly looking man to my right and that was it, I had found a new friend. We chatted away easily and enjoyed the rest of the night in and out of conversation, on and off the dance floor. He was from Texas, but had lived in Australia a long time. He was with another friend who was also friendly and easy company. It was nice to be included and conversation flowed in between a screeching singer and loud cow bells.
At one point I had a minor meltdown. Grief as I have mentioned 108 times previously throughout my blog comes in waves, and I just happened to experience a minor set of turbulent swell, on the dance floor. Each song bringing more tears, unbelievable. It was like a message, another squelching of emotion from deep within, an over flow of tears, that can not be stopped. The songs went from ‘Dance til you die’, to ‘I will survive’ to ‘Hey Ya’, the last one always reminding me of my late sister Marianna. This catchy pop song was on the radio constantly at the time I went to visit her in Auckland many years ago. I remember vividly driving down a road on North shore Auckland, in her blue Rav 4, listening to this song and singing along, a rare happy moment of connection with my predominantly cold-shouldery, keep your distance you little punk, 15 years senior half sister.
I wiped my tears, trying not to completely lose it on the dance floor, John, Texas man consoling me as best as he could. After a brief face wiping session in the bathroom, some deep breaths and some warm comforting words, I was smiling again, and the grief waves had subsided back to flat ocean calm again. Phew. I made it. One step up again.
Before I knew it, my watch read 1.30am, and it was time to get home and out of the crazy witching hour zone of Northbridge. I caught my Uber home and again chatted to friendly South African/Italian man. My night had been awesome. I met some great new people, had a dance, I felt happy and pleased that I had made the effort to connect, to get amongst society, and to make the most of my Friday night. Now I wonder what is in store for my Saturday night out?
Thanks for reading my blog, I hope it offers you some inspiration to be brave, confident and do the things you really want to do in life.
Can you go out solo?
Love Anita xx