Do you ever feel like life is a dream? Lately for me the veil between reality/dream state, or consciousness and subconsciousness is becoming thinner. I wake up wondering how all the big changes around me seemed to suddenly happen. So weird. Do you feel like you are living in a parallel life sometimes too?
Over the past few years my immediate family all passed away. This was a shocking experience and still is an ongoing challenge to live life without them by my side. I stare fondly, and teary, at their photos adorned around my house. Where are they now? Death is so final. Gone, kapoof. One minute you are a breathing living human, next you are a sheer memory. It really is all very strange, and as you can see I still have not entirely come to terms with their death. How can you? How can the closest people in your life just disappear like that? It seems unfathomable. But sadly it is true.
I can be clingy, needy, touchy too much, emotional, moody at times, and it’s mostly still because I miss my parents. My parents are dead. Okay before I break out into a full blown pity party for one, I will change my tone here…
In a very short space of time I decided to buy my first property and move in. I have friends I haven’t seen since I made this move, that’s how quick it was. I pinch myself that all this space is mine to play in, that I have created this amazing reality after years of wishful house buying thinking. I did it! I flew off the cliff and became a home owner. And I really love it. I am dreaming up feature walls, garden designs, fence painting, new furniture, house house house. I have on my hands a new monumental fabulous project that will keep this busy little beaver occupied and happy for a number of years to come! But I still wake up thinking ‘wow how did all this happen?’ This is my surreality.
I am quite obsessed with blue armchairs and I am on the hunt for the perfect one! I scour through Pinterest for inspiration and hungrily search on other sites. I am also equally obsessed with all things rose gold/copper, feature walls in bright hues of blue, and shelving, and baths, and any other cool designs. I have gone home owner crazy. I also love home magazines and read them continuously for new ideas and inspiration. I really am ready for this creative project of owning a home. I love these turquoise colours below, but I also like dark blues and fuchsias. So many decisions!
Time floats by so quickly. One minute we are leaving high school and travelling the world, the next thing our friends (not me!) are having kids, getting married, and what seems like a blink of the eye, everything is different, but the same, but so different. Life is really strange like that.
Life really is what you make of it. And it is so important to make the most of every day of your life. Don’t put things off, because you may not get a chance to do the things you want to do. And on that note, have the courage to do the things you really want to do, because why the hell not? We won’t get out of this alive. And we will all end up in the same place!
I am busting to travel at the end of the year, but now that I have this mortgage I am a little reluctant financially. Travelling makes my heart sing, and is one of a few things in life that really excite me. This is why I know that I should make it a priority. Save hard, knuckle down to enable the trips I still want to take. I have even thought about selling my car! Just so I can have more freedom with my money. I know that seems crazy. When I travel I also write, and combining the two activities is heaven for me. I write like a maniac when I travel, there is so much to write about and think about and reflect on! I just love it. Hence why, we must do the things we love to do, and make them a priority.
What are some things in your life you could make more of a priority to do, simply because you love it?
“Every moment is a miracle. Your life is a miracle. Learn to recognise all the signposts around you and move beyond your current limitations, so you can begin to experience the magic of each moment and live the life you dream of.” – Maggie Hamilton Magic of the Moment.
2 thoughts on “Surreality.”
Anita, thank you for such a beautiful article! ♡♡
So sorry about your family.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story and I 100% agree – we must do the things we love.
With Love + Gratitude,
Em xox ♡♡♡♡
|| The Gratitude Butterfly
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Thanks Em for your support! Xx I feel the love! Have a great day 🙂 xx