‘My Return to Cairns – Part One’

The last time I was in Cairns, I drove my car there all the way from Perth. I was on a mission, and my end point was Port Douglas just north of Cairns. I remember the final activity I did in the far north was visit a mini version of the Daintree rainforest, the greenery and lushness was really enjoyable and such a contrast to the west coast of Australia where I am from.

Then, deciding I was far enough from home, I turned the car around & drove all the way back to Perth.This road trip totalled 18’000km! So this time landing at the airport will be so much faster and a lot easier.

When I was in Cairns last time, I was in the midst of grieving the loss of my adored Father Zig. I was experiencing a roller coaster of emotions, one day I was fine the next I would be a crying blubbering snotty mess. I was drinking a lot, feeling very agitated, and also feeling very restless. The constant movement and changing of scenery as I drove my car at high speeds with music blaring, really did help me grieve so I felt at the time. I was avoiding my reality and running away from myself. Not wanting to ground myself, I was afraid what that would look like without the presence and strength and support from my Dad. I was still at the stage where I would go to call him and reach for my phone, then realise I couldn’t do that anymore. This saddened me so much, as I used to speak to my Dad almost every day no matter where I was in the world. I was a very dutiful daughter and would keep in touch very frequently. He loved to hear from me and would always want to know my new stories and what my new plans would be. I gravely missed speaking to him, losing him had caused a huge crater like hole in my heart and in my life.

He would always encourage me to travel as he had travelled extensively as well. In fact one of the places I went to, I took a photo in exactly the same place he had a few years ago. This was a good memory for me.

Returning to Cairns I feel will be a cathartic experience. The last time I was there in 2013 I was so up and down emotionally. This time I am feeling so much better.

One of the highlights for me when I was there previously, was being up in the Atherton Tablelands. There I stayed with some friends of my Uncle’s and had such a great time. They had this awesome two story home right on Lake Tinaroo; all timber in design, so earthy and full of good energy. The first floor was fully self contained and independent from the rest of the house. They kindly offered me my own little slice of paradise and it was really appreciated at the time. It was complete with my own bathroom, kitchen and deck setting in view of a tropical garden. It became a sanctuary for me and allowed me rest and rejuvenation after my solo mission drive right across Australia.

My favourite place of all time were these two massive natural reservoirs of water called Lake Barine and Lake Eacham. I am really looking forward to returning there and swimming in the very deep and magical waters of these ancient volcanic craters. No one knows how deep they are, and fortunately there is nothing lurking in the waters that can bite or sting you, which is most unusual considering I was in Queensland. I remember the last time I was there, a lady had swum out far into the lake and started singing a very eerie, soft angelic song; which echoed from the waters edge. I remember the feeling right now, like a mermaid had risen from the dark depths of the lake to enchant us with her song. After a swim in this beautiful fresh water lake I felt renewed and invigorated. I am very much looking forward to experiencing these healing waters again. The below image shows the lush forest surrounding the lake. I will be sure to include pictures of the magical lakes in part two of this blog.

My friend and I are planning to take a hot air balloon ride while we are there. I am very excited about this as it has been on my bucket list for a long time, and finally it will be a dream come true. Making my dreams a reality is what I am all about lately! Flying in a hot air balloon was also something my Mum always wanted to do, so I know she will be strong in my thoughts as I take this voyage.

When I was in Cairns last I was drinking quite a bit. This time will be different as I have now been without alcohol for around 8 weeks. I am embarrassed about my behaviour from the last time I was there. I got up to mischief a few times under the influence of alcohol and I regret what I did. I have a much higher level of self respect now and know I won’t be repeating the same mistakes as I did when I was wrestling with grief. Fortunately I have come a long way in 2 years since I was there last.

It will be interesting for me to return to Cairns. My last experience there was great but really was veiled by a heavy sadness. I was struggling with my grief and emotions at the time. This time I feel quite different. I am more balanced, happy, centred and motivated. I am ready for a new experience and ready to return to this beautiful tropical town which previously gave me so much joy mixed with so much anguish.

Thank you for reading my blog. In part two I will share with you my new experience in Cairns and share some of my captured images which will hopefully inspire you too.

Until next week, all the best and please go call your Mum and Dad and say hello for me. They are not around forever and still to this day, I so wish I could easily pick up a phone and hear their voices again. Please share your thoughts about my blog with me in the comment section below.

Anita xx

” Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” – Helen Keller.