Okay, it is official, as of now, immediately, ahora, pronto, I AM GIVING UP HUNTING MAN. It has been a complete pain in the arse hunting man for the majority of my dating life, aka, the last 20 years, and I am officially hanging up my high heels, putting on my comfy knickers, and officially wearing lipstick for the fun of it.

Relationships are a complete mind fuck. To me they always have been. Try, but not too hard, look, but don’t look too hard, appear available, but not desperate, look hot, but not like a hoar, be strong, but more pathetic and demure, guys like that. Well you know what? FUCK THAT SHIT. Men these days are fucking annoying. They don’t talk to you, they seem to only want to fuck you, and even then it can be bad (last guy, too skinny, get your bones off me). So I am officially giving up the man hunt.

I bought 4 new lipsticks yesterday. It is fun to dress up. I am over high heels, I gave those uncomfortable bitches up years ago, but lipstick, I likey. Unnecessary information, but how cool is this pineapple pic? Lol!

I have done as much as I can to attract the right guy. I made a list, at least 10 times, of what I am looking for. I have been on every dating site around, since 2003… I have Tindered the shit out of my region, up to 150 km away. I still don’t get any messages, oh except this one the other day…

Me: ‘How are you for a Friday?‘ (… because guys don’t text you when you match, perhaps it is an ego boost, one guy ages back showed me his phone and I kid you not about 150 tinder matches, all there just to have there, like a weird trophy cabinet for the modern dating man. Fucker.)

Him: Horny babe! And you? 

Oh for fuck sake. Horny!?>!>!>! REALLY!???? Go have a fucking wank then you fucking wanker. Is what I wanted to say… but instead I just deleted him. They are a dime a dozen.

I seem to be eternally single. And I am just coming to terms with that. I pretty much have given up on the dream of finding Mr Right. Mr Right for now is all that seems to come along and even that doesn’t last long.

The last guy, who I never really officially was able to call a boyfriend, it was just a thing, that started, and evolved quickly, then died in the fucking arse as fast as it started. With; ‘I am not physically attracted to you, oh and I am seeing someone else.’ Already?? What the actual fuck? And if you are not into me right now physically perhaps you never will, as I am hot right now. Lol. Well, I am tanned, so that feels good. I feel good. My point is this is really as good as it is going to get, so… clearly you are not the right one. To be honest I wasn’t into his boney arse either. Lol. But he was super cute, and nice, and we got on SO WELL!! It was a good beginning, and I am sure I would have got used to those narrow shoulders, and pale pekid skin. And he was so good at sports. A good table tennis player, volleyball player, but he didn’t like swimming much, oh well, you can’t have everything. Oh hum, I still miss this one.

I am at that age where I just feel too old. I know I am not. But comparatively…. I was out last night on the dance floor, with all the other hot twenty somethings…I was looking around hoping I wasn’t bumping and grinding up against any ex students…haha! Not that I bump and grind…that much… My point is, there are so many hotter girls out there!!!! Damn them! The thing is they probably don’t even realise how cute they are. Bless.

So… that is it. I am not trying so hard anymore. I am not flicking endless through Tinder profiles, I am not going to pretend to be anything other than me. Take it or lump it. I am going to be more snail (they are assexual), more independent, more capable of anything, more into owning my own space, and just go out and do stuff, and if I happen to meet someone, or bump into someone who just happens to like me and it works, then fine, I will give it a go. But for now, I am giving up on the man hunt. MAN HUNT IS OFFICIALLY OVER.

But how hot is this guy? He is my latest Instagram crush. Lol.

 

So there you have it, the latest insight to Anita’s brain. Nothing new really…Men continue to be a complete mystery to me. I mean, I love you, but I do not get you. AT ALL. Birds chirping, make that a crow cackling, tumbleweed rolling, whistling wind, a coyote in the background howls, yeah, you get the scene…fucking barren. Like my uterus. Lol.

Have a great weekend. And @LeBlond, you need a place to stay on your travels? Lol.

Anita xx