Wow, I really seem to have my cranky pants on right now. Hopefully by the time I have finished this post, I will have shaken them off; and be blissfully naked and happy. Like a nude toddler roaming giggly in a grassy backyard, how free and happy do they look? I want to feel like that, immediately.
Cranky pants, we all know how that feels. No one likes it. Everyone hates it. But we all get like that every now and again. The world feels heavy, decisions are a challenge, everything is boring, a cosy bed and fluffy doona seem like the only solution. Or that block of chocolate. Mmm, chocolate, it really can solve a lot of problems.
When everyone you love is dead; it can at times feel overwhelming. I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I wonder how I have come this far, how will I carry on? Fortunately time changes everything, nothing stays the same, everything evolves, our bodies, our thoughts and our mindsets. What can be a terrible moment one minute, can turn out to be fleeting. I am waiting for the fleet to pass. Pass god damn you.
I try and be grateful. But everyone is dead.
I try and think positive, but everyone is dead.
I try and think forward into the future, but my loved ones are all dead.
Dead dead dead. Even the word sounds so final.
They should not be dead; not yet. It is too soon. I am only 36.
I need to find new loved ones. Immediately.
My loved ones are irreplaceable. Inconceivably irreplaceable. You can not just go get new ones so quickly. Loved ones take a lifetime to evolve into loved ones, and I am picky. I love easy, but I am not always loveable. I can be a pain in the arse. I know I can.
I do not tolerate fuck wits. Or dickheads. Or incompetence. Or disorganised incompetent dickhead fuck wits. I used to. Trust me, I have seen and experienced plenty of them, but not anymore, not this clever brown duck. But gosh, it’s lonely and awfully cold at the top… (lol).
Recently I nearly had a punch on with this guy I could not stand. I literally wanted to punch him in the face. I can be aggressive, with my tongue, not so much with my fists. We verbally punched each other in the face I could say. F bombs, I even dropped the C bomb, oh yeah I was totally pissed off with this guy. He knows who he is. He will never read this, even if he did, which I hope he would, I would say it all over again. G*(&*&^&%&^(**&*&(()_)(_)(_)(*^$#$#$^&*( yourself… you can fill in the blanks.
I do not like violence or conflict, but some people are just so aggravating. Why is it we have such a clash with some people? An energy difference? A personality clash? Too similar? Who knows, but it does happen. We are not all the same, and this is a good thing, in the long run, when you do not want to punch someone…
I try to be amicable, friendly, reasonable, polite, mature, but as I grow older and smarter I realise one needs to be more selfish, more aware of what we want, and stand up for what you believe, and drop a few c bombs every now and again, that’s super mature. Or you will be walked all over. Taken advantage of, and that my friends, my dear readers, whoever you might be, as no one comments so who the fuck reads my blogs I do not know… is not cool. It is about having an opinion, and sticking to your guns. No one likes wishy washy indecisive Ingrid. No, be assertive Astrid.
So, my cranky pants are now around my ankles, I metaphorically fling them in disgust well away from my usually awesome positively vibed aura. Bring on the positivity. Bring it on.
Anita xx
P.S. Not my usual type of post, but hey every day is different right? And it’s my blog, I will write what I want. 😛
P.P.S Please comment. Even some slagging might be kind of fun. 😉 Wouldn’t it be cool if that dick head guy I wanted to punch read this? Bring it on I say…Maybe there is some confusion who that might be… there have been a few lately… haha! My cranky pants are officially off, I feel so much better now. Nothing a bit of writing can’t fix eh? Oh and I can say this post was mostly powered by the half a block of Cote D’Or Noir Puur… Praline dark chocolate I have recently purchased here in Belgium. Yummo. Ok, bye. No really, bye.
Live Your Truth 
I’m cranky too! I love this post and your blog. Sometimes I feel so guilty for being anything but positive and grateful and then that makes me really stinkn cranky. I started following you, when I read your post on sobriety. I’m 43 days sober since that read and feel pretty dang good about it. I’m inspired by your stories and gorgeous photos. I shall now tear off my very tight, cranky pants and am sending happy, loving vibes your way:)
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My cranky pants also get dragged out from the back of the wardrobe occasionally which usually involves huge amounts of swearing too 😉 I currently work with a guy whose mission in life seems to be to annoy people into beating him up. Although he hasn’t done anything directly to me there’s something about his vibe that sets my teeth on edge which is so rare for me. Some people just do that I guess. I liked the mix of thoughtfulness, honesty, vulnerability and humour in this post and I hope your cranky pants are scrunched up in a dark corner somewhere else now.
🙂 Sam
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Love this Anita! My cranky pants have been firmly attached to my body for the last week. I feel like I can now cut them off my legs and be done with them for a little while x
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I started following your blog being at one of the most difficult times in my life.
Your freedom is inspiring me to live my life truthfully..thanks
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Thanks so much! I really appreciate your feedback! I love to write and love to be free… This cranky pants article just came out of me yesterday, it is not my usual style, but we all have different sides to us; and I really want to be authentic with my feelings and writing. Thanks for the feedback, I hope you like some of my other articles too. Sorry things are difficult for you, the truth is they will get better. Make a list of all the things you really want to do with your life and just start doing one thing today to take action to making it happen, you will feel better for it. xx
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Awesome to hear Jess. I think we all have our cranky pants on sometimes right!? It was fun to write and express my authentic cranky mood, i did really feel better by the end. I love that about writing. Hope you are well, and thanks for the feedback! Honestly, I love feedback! xx
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I burnt those cranky pants! Incinerated them! hah! I really felt better after writing this piece, I find writing so cathartic. There were some real laugh out loud moments for me as I was typing away… furiously! Maybe just give that guy a slap… sounds like he deserves it! Thanks for the feedback Sam I really appreciate it 🙂
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Thanks Megan! I am so happy for you that you have flung the cranky pants off and you have given up booze! Good on you! What I love about writing this blog, is I have no idea who reads it, and the impact it has on other people, in hopefully a really positive way. I am so pleased it has helped you too. I am now 5 months without alcohol… I cant even believe it. Travelling makes it more challenging, as I do want to try lot of yummy new things, like raspberry beer, here in Belgium… but… I honestly feel so much better for it. I just cant break it now! I have so many more posts to come, I have been writing heaps as I travel, it gives me lots of inspiration. I hope you can keep enjoying my blog 🙂 Thanks for the feedback I really do love it xx
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No worries chick xx coffee when you get back?
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Absolutely!! 🙂 xx
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I love this post! Your honesty is great. I love when you get cranky too, cos your constant cheeriness is fucking irritating sometimes!! Haha!! Miss you darl and often you cross my thoughts and I send a quick wish to the universe that your family is making its way to you xoxo
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hahaaha!!! Thanks Michelle!! I really appreciate your feedback! See I am human!! 😉 I am often afraid to show my cranky side or negative mood, but it seems it worked out okay this time! God was I cranky!! But by the end of writing it I did feel so much better. Miss you too hun, I will be back to Brisbane later in the year, or early next year. We can do something fun… 🙂 I feel my family around me a lot to be honest. I even dreamed about Marianna the other night which was very rare! xxxxx Love you!!!
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8. Secure a loan.
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